it’s funny how if you’re not straight, the assumption is always that you like men
bisexual male: YOU’RE SECRETLY JUST GAY AND WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MEN
bisexual female: YOU’RE JUST FAKING IT FOR MALE ATTENTION
gay male: YOU’RE ONLY GAY BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T HAVE A GOOD MALE ROLE MODEL IN YOUR LIFE
gay female: YOU’RE ONLY A LESBIAN BECAUSE YOU WERE HURT BY MEN IN THE PAST AND NOW YOU HATE THEM
like did it occur to you at any point that it’s not always about men
Do you ever feel so emotionally tired that it makes you physically tired? Yeah bc same.
"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual
Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.